Monday, March 06, 2006
I'm just tryin' to matter
It means as much to me as the Super Bowl means to my husband. It's The Oscars! I have waited and waited for the big night. Not only do we have the Oscars but we have the Pre-show to the big event. The Red Carpet! It's a place to see the stars walk in full glitz and glam. A pre-game warm up began as the "Stars" arrived wearing borrowed jewels, exquisite shoes, manicured hands, gorgeous hair and beautiful gowns fashioned by the most famous designers. Divine, simply divine. The Red Carpet brings me such a thrill. I anxiously await to see my favorite movie stars like Nicole Kidman, Charlize Theron, Hillary Swank and of course America's angel, Reese Witherspoon.
Just recently I watched Walk The Line, the story of Johnny Cash and June Carter Cash. Country music is near and dear to my heart, especially since I am a Southern girl myself. Country music can always brighten my day. So the thought of watching this movie brought great delight. I love any story that took place in the South and especially one that happens to be true. Johnny Cash was a Man's man, a lover, a fighter, a sinner and a man who seem to always repent! As I watched the movie, my heart broke for Him. He was rejected as young boy by His Father and then struggled to find His worth in so much more throughout His life. I have read and heard a lot about Johnny Cash and I believe He is with Jesus. And then there is the precious, spunky, fiery, June Carter Cash. Now she didn't put up with much. She told it like it was and she fought for what she believed in. Her heart was pure though and her intentions did not need questioning for she was always desired to do the right thing and not offend or hurt others, even her fans. June was strong and she loved with everything she had. She's the kind you would want to go through a battle with you. She would hold your hand during the darkest hours and make you feel like you had purpose for that very trial you were in. Johnny experienced it and so did her children. June was a force, a woman to be admired. She lived her life with purpose and she mattered!
Reese Witherspoon has always been my favorite Actress. Our daughters share the same name too. Well kind of!I have my southern name, Ava Beth and she has her Ava! You won't see Reese on any cover of a magazine looking provocative. She would never act in a movie that would go against what her Mother taught her to be or one that would embarrass her daughter, Ava, years later. She would never choose to be in something just for the moment, she would think first. She is modest, poised, smart and respectful. She is a woman, a true lady.
What a perfect woman to portray June Carter Cash. I believe June would be pleased. Last night as my heart pounded during the announcement of names for Best Actress in a leading role Category, I prayed it would be Reese. And it was! As Reese accepted her award, her speech left me with even more respect for her than I had before. By far, her speech was the best thing said all night long. She talked about how her grandmother taught her what it meant to have self respect and how you should never give that away. Then she explained that when others asked June Carter Cash how she was doing, she always said, "I'm just tryin' to matter."
Thinking about my life, my family, my friendships, my ministry, my children, my husband, all I can think is the same exact thing. I'm just tryin' to matter! I have tough days, I have good days. I have sad days, I have happy and peaceful days. There are times that I make a mistake and throw a fit or say something I shouldn't but I know that when I love, I love with all that I have. When I care for something, I truly care. When I hate something, I truly hate it. When I disagree with something, I let you know. This is who I am. May I live my life with honor, self respect and love. May God use me to matter!
Oh how I pray that I will make smart decisions, spend time with people that will make me better, love with all that I am, and be all that my Mother and Mammaw Ritter taught me to be. May I do all the Southern women proud! I'm just tryin' to matter. I may never walk the Red Carpet or accept some amazing award, but I hope and pray that I will matter in this world and do all that God created me to do.