Monday, March 06, 2006

I'm just tryin' to matter

It means as much to me as the Super Bowl means to my husband. It's The Oscars! I have waited and waited for the big night. Not only do we have the Oscars but we have the Pre-show to the big event. The Red Carpet! It's a place to see the stars walk in full glitz and glam. A pre-game warm up began as the "Stars" arrived wearing borrowed jewels, exquisite shoes, manicured hands, gorgeous hair and beautiful gowns fashioned by the most famous designers. Divine, simply divine. The Red Carpet brings me such a thrill. I anxiously await to see my favorite movie stars like Nicole Kidman, Charlize Theron, Hillary Swank and of course America's angel, Reese Witherspoon.

Just recently I watched Walk The Line, the story of Johnny Cash and June Carter Cash. Country music is near and dear to my heart, especially since I am a Southern girl myself. Country music can always brighten my day. So the thought of watching this movie brought great delight. I love any story that took place in the South and especially one that happens to be true. Johnny Cash was a Man's man, a lover, a fighter, a sinner and a man who seem to always repent! As I watched the movie, my heart broke for Him. He was rejected as young boy by His Father and then struggled to find His worth in so much more throughout His life. I have read and heard a lot about Johnny Cash and I believe He is with Jesus. And then there is the precious, spunky, fiery, June Carter Cash. Now she didn't put up with much. She told it like it was and she fought for what she believed in. Her heart was pure though and her intentions did not need questioning for she was always desired to do the right thing and not offend or hurt others, even her fans. June was strong and she loved with everything she had. She's the kind you would want to go through a battle with you. She would hold your hand during the darkest hours and make you feel like you had purpose for that very trial you were in. Johnny experienced it and so did her children. June was a force, a woman to be admired. She lived her life with purpose and she mattered!

Reese Witherspoon has always been my favorite Actress. Our daughters share the same name too. Well kind of!I have my southern name, Ava Beth and she has her Ava! You won't see Reese on any cover of a magazine looking provocative. She would never act in a movie that would go against what her Mother taught her to be or one that would embarrass her daughter, Ava, years later. She would never choose to be in something just for the moment, she would think first. She is modest, poised, smart and respectful. She is a woman, a true lady.

What a perfect woman to portray June Carter Cash. I believe June would be pleased. Last night as my heart pounded during the announcement of names for Best Actress in a leading role Category, I prayed it would be Reese. And it was! As Reese accepted her award, her speech left me with even more respect for her than I had before. By far, her speech was the best thing said all night long. She talked about how her grandmother taught her what it meant to have self respect and how you should never give that away. Then she explained that when others asked June Carter Cash how she was doing, she always said, "I'm just tryin' to matter."

Thinking about my life, my family, my friendships, my ministry, my children, my husband, all I can think is the same exact thing. I'm just tryin' to matter! I have tough days, I have good days. I have sad days, I have happy and peaceful days. There are times that I make a mistake and throw a fit or say something I shouldn't but I know that when I love, I love with all that I have. When I care for something, I truly care. When I hate something, I truly hate it. When I disagree with something, I let you know. This is who I am. May I live my life with honor, self respect and love. May God use me to matter!

Oh how I pray that I will make smart decisions, spend time with people that will make me better, love with all that I am, and be all that my Mother and Mammaw Ritter taught me to be. May I do all the Southern women proud! I'm just tryin' to matter. I may never walk the Red Carpet or accept some amazing award, but I hope and pray that I will matter in this world and do all that God created me to do.


Kili @ Live Each Moment said...

Great post. Same here.

Faith said...

I just love Reese. She does us southern girls proud. ;D Love the post.

Shelley said...

I've been wanting to see the movie. I think I may have actually been able to sit through it at a theater -- I haven't go to a movie at a theater in . . . well, over 3 years.

I had to go to the doctor's office today. I thought about you while I was there and wondered if you were there with your kids getting a strep test done too. Ugh!

Amanda said...

Shelley, I was there and thought of you too! Yes, we had a strpe test done today for Josiah by Ms. Linda. AND it was negative but the FLU test was POSITIVE! So we are all on Tamiflu! Josiah is in bed with me tonight while Jeremy takes the couch. He has a fever of about 102 and after the motrin wears off, it comes back. We all had the flu shot back in October too. Linda said that those that did not get the flu shot are coming in with a temp of 104-105. So, I'm glad we got it. Yesterday he did not act sick at all and the all of the sudden in the middle of the night, fever! Today when I saw MR. Giggles I almost said OUTLOUD, "Look Josiah, there is Mr. Giggles." Someday I bet we will run into each other! :)

Anonymous said...

Loved the movie and can't wait to own it. It was a movie that you want to own. It's funny you mentioned Mammaw Ritter as we are coming up on the anniversary of her death. Hardly ever do I put on something or arrange my house that I don't wonder, "What would Mammaw say?" Well, I know this, Mammaw would be proud of Mandi! She loved you and you got to be with her in the "best" years. Even though she is gone she is still with us. I dreamed about her last night.

I loved your blog. It was a sweet one. Your last one convicted me. I really do want to matter in the Kingdom of God.

I love you.

Gwen said...

I haven't seen the movie yet but I too absolutely love Reese Witherspoon.

Great post!

Anonymous said...

I was excited Reese won and after hearing her acceptance speech, I was impressed. She was articulate. She was authentic. She was poised in a moment of great attention throne her direction. She was sdmirable.

I was moved by her use of the June Carter quote, "I am just trying to matter". It made me think, as well.

I am at a stage in my life where I have found my niche - what God has created me for. But, am I giving it my all? Am I making a difference? Do I matter? Thoughts which challenge my focus and attentions.

I thought I had a good blueprint for my life...and of course, God has shown me that my blueprints were narrow-mindedly designed. He has taken me down roads I would have never chosen! Met people who have hurt me! And who have shown me incredible friendship and love.

I could spend my hours being petty picking people and their actions apart...BUT, that is not my business. God has shown me - I am responsible for me and ONLY ME! Love those around me, who share this life with me. Learn to love them as He loves them-- differences included. Focus on my spiritual growth and worship of Him. That is what matters. Right?

This is what I find myself saying to my children, "you are responsible for who? Yourself." Too much time is spent in analyzing others, criticizing others, judging others...but, WHY? Can't we just ACCEPT we are ALL DIFFERENT! Learn to tolerate and eventually love these differences? Help each other when support and help is asked for or needed. Love each other through times of closeness and distance. Pray for each other to seek God and know His power. Remind ourselves that we are ALL chunks of coal with potential diamonds forming within us. We all experience life differently...which is the beauty of HIS creation. What matters is that we DO NOT get hung up IN and ON ourselves and those around us BUT on God and his purpose for our lives.

Good thoughts, Amanda. Thank you for exploring Reeses' comments in a deeper way.

Laura said...

Well, let me tell you something, You do matter and your living a legacy that will be cherished forever! I already know this, and you have so many others in your life who respect and honor your opinion. Your loved and thought of more than I think you know! God first, then your family and your children are what's most important in this life and all you should try to matter to the most! I love you, Mandi, and you matter to me!!!

Amanda said...

Mom, I miss Mammaw Ritter so much. I love it that I have her bundt pan. I love it that I have her joy for cooking. I miss her so much and wish she were here to make me some good salmon patties. I try to make them like her's but it's hard to be any better than Mammaw. She was a woman that TRULY lived and she left a legacy. I can hear her voice now. People always say that I'm so loud but they never met MAMMAW!

Amanda said...

Lo! You are the bomb, that's all I can say. Thank you for your sweet words to me. Thank you for saying that I matter to you. I know it because I feel it! 17 days!!! In seventeen days we will be on vacation with our cute husbands and having the time of our life! I am so glad that God gave me you and I never knew there was a friend out there like you. You are ONE of a kind. Okay, enough of the sappy stuff! You know I don't like to hug but I'm gonna hug you when I see you next! And it will be first thing, not because I'm leaving and saying goodbye. It will be a hug to tell you how much I love you.