Thank you all for your prayers. I usually dread babysitting. I have always said it takes someone special because I don't enjoy watching other people's kids. However, I do adore my own! But I really enjoyed the kids I kept today. They were a delight! Thank you Jesus! Here's tomorrow's reading. It will be another early morning with kids so I had to post tonight. For tomorrow I will be completely consumed with Josiah, Ava Beth, Jackson, Ashlyn, Roxanne and Cassidy. Oh and the girls told me today that I was the "funnest" babysitter they had ever had! I think that's because the girls fixed my hair and did my makeup. And we had jumping contests from the couch to the LoveSac (which by the way, I really want one of these now!) As soon as their dad walked in, they told him about our jumping contest, even though I said, "You better not tell your parents I have organized this contest or they may fire me!" But, he still wants to drop them off at my house tomorrow! I think he wouldn't have minded if all four of them came to live with me until Mom came back in town! :) What can I say, it feels good to be the hero for a day! Jackson cried when I left!
And then there is John 5. What did it mean for me? I never thought I would get out of chapter five what I did. But, God uses the Word in our lives to meet us right where we are at. Nothing about marriage in this chapter but it spoke to me about my own. Marriage! What a journey!
No matter how great your marriage is, if you are honest with yourself, you know it's not perfect. At times you will be in a great place but sometimes things are hard. No matter how often you have a date night, no matter how often you have sex, no matter how often you serve your spouse, it can still be hard. Anyone that says their marriage is free from any conflict, well I would have to tell them to read the ten commandments. Lying is a sin!
Tonight was one of those nights for my marriage. We are in conflict right now. The funny thing is, the conflict is a habitual conflict. The subject matter isn't earth shattering, it's really nothing juicy, it's just the same old stuff that comes up over and over and over again. Some couples actually get married knowing that they don't agree on religion, politics or moral issues. Not us! We agree on all the big stuff! But the little stuff gets us every single time. Honestly, as I type this I am realizing how much I need to repent because I am angry. Tomorrow, He will act like nothing ever happened (this bugs me). I will end up apologizing TONIGHT because I won't be able to sleep. With that being said, I could name a million things about him that would let you know I AM BLESSED to have a man like him. And let me tell you, I know! Some days I wonder how on earth I got him to fall for me? It was all the Lord's doing! But my marriage is that one HUGE thing that I wish I could have total healing in.
As I read John 5, I could really relate to the man that had been sick for thirty-eight years. "Would you like to get well?" Jesus asked. If I picture the Lord asking me that regarding my marriage, I think my response would be the same as the sick man. "I can't sir."
So tonight I pray that I can stand up, pick up my sleeping mat and walk. I am ready to have victory in these areas for I am so tired of re-visiting the same old stuff. I love Jeremy so much and he has been the greatest healing balm in my life ever. He is a man after God's own heart and oh I love him!!!!
I love you Jeremy. Please forgive me.
(John study will resume on Monday. Take a break on the weekends but continue to stay in the word no matter what day it is! Be ready with John 6 on Monday.)