My heart and my mouth

This post started as funny, witty, long bit of commentary all written out on my blog for last week's American Idol show. Some of you have probably read it already. But then the Holy Spirit convicted me and I erased the post. None of the stuff I have written has had any mean spirit behind it, just my honest opinion that I am sure a lot of the world would appreciate as far as AI goes. But, my opinion doesn't matter and as I pray to have a clean heart, I need to learn to keep a lot of things to myself. Not everyone needs to know when I don't like something. What do I prove? Nothing! Except that I often sound like a fool! Me writing a bunch of junk on AI doesn't match up with what the Lord has called me to use my blog for. So, I gotta stay true to His calling in my life.

Last week when we approached the check in counter for our cruise, a very mean male employee checked us in. A lot went in to our stressful check in, too much to explain. But, there was no excuse for this cruise line employee to treat us the way he did. My friend almost started crying, my husband's face turned red and me? Well, I couldn't keep my mouth closed. "You don't have to talk so ugly. This is not our fault. Call the travel planner for your company, he did this." It didn't end there. I was so mad! Finally we get the clearance to board the ship and I am still ranting and raving, looking for a manager of some sort to talk to. As we approach the bridge to walk across that takes us to the ship, we are greeted with a photographer and a background to stand in front of so he can take our picture. Waiting in line for our picture, I am still mad, still telling my husband how rude the guy was and then telling my husband he should have said something to him. Suddenly it's time for our picture and I have to turn on a smile! It was amazing, I turned on the fakest smile you have ever seen. Needless to say, we didn't buy that picture but I can guarantee the smile was big! As soon as we walked away from the camera, my attitude continued.

After finding our cabin, we walk in to find that our beds were still in twins and not made into a king. Just something else for me to be mad about! We all head to the pursers desk and approach the counter together. I did all the talking. Surprised? Chris, a sweet man behind the desk from South Africa said "No problem, I can fix all of this. I will get your credit card information corrected and get each of you with your spouses." Before that our rooms and credit info was all wrong. Girls in one room, guys in another. No thanks, I prefer to room with my husband! Then Chris, the pursers desk employee, in his beautiful South African accent said "Oh and just tell your steward about the beds and he/she will switch them into a king. Is there anything else I can do for you?" I wanted to say, "Yeah you can go punch that guy at the check in desk in the face!" But instead we smiled, thanked him and went to eat! When in doubt while on a cruise ship, eat! You can always eat on a cruise, always.

As we walked all around the ship anxious to find the lido deck, the FOOD deck, my husband put his arm around me and said "Babe, shake it off. We are on vacation! I'm sorry I didn't step in and say something to that man. He was a jerk but I knew he was messing with the wrong woman. I know you can handle people like that." And, I can. But, sometimes I just need to shut up. What do I prove? What do we prove when we complain to the waiter about our food? Sometimes attention needs to be brought to certain situations especially at restaurants but sometimes we just need to shut up.

So as I try my hardest to grow in the Lord, I learn about more and more things that need to change in my life. And let me tell you, it is HARD! Sometimes it is so hard to not see myself through the eyes of others, let alone my own eyes. More than anything, I need to focus on the eyes of the Lord. May I be pleasing to Him and when I am trying my hardest to please Him, I will instantly be pleasing to others. So, I'm not going to criticize the American Idol contestants, they get it enough from Simon. Who am I to judge? And maybe the guy at the cruise line man at the check in was really hurting that day. Who knows what may have been going on in His life? Who am I to judge?

Yesterday while singing in the choir at church I heard my mom praying to herself while everyone else was praying. "Give me a clean heart Lord." Well, that's what I need! A clean heart indeed. That would answer a lot of my problems in life, for sure.

Thank you Lord for the things you are teaching me. At times it is so difficult but I press on. Help me to see myself through your eyes, not the eyes of others. Help me to find my strength and confidence in YOU alone. Lord, help me to keep my mouth shut and my heart clean, daily.

Psalm 19:14 May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.

(For those of you that liked my American Idol weekly commentary, sorry. I would hate for one of them to stumble upon my blog and read my comments regarding how I think their performance went. You never know, Oprah could read my blog! HA! I just got to thinking about it and I don't think my AI opinion is necessary to share with all of you. I'll share my opinions with my husband!)