7 1/2 needing an 8

Shoes are just something that bring me comfort! You would think I am referring to the kind of comfort needed to make your feet feel good but I'm not. Instead shoes bring me comfort in different ways. I can honestly say that I don't buy shoes because they feel comfortable, unless I am wearing them for running. Even during my pregnancies, I did not buy shoes because they felt comfortable. As long as they were high (I never wear flat shoes), as long as they were funky, as long as they were pointy, as long as they were stylish, they brought me comfort. Hey and if they came from Target or Payless, even better! Nothing better than a gorgeous pair of shoes that comes with a killer price! If I need a certain pair of shoes for a certain outfit and can't find my size, I've been known to buy a size that's not really going to fit.
You won't find me doing that with clothes, but shoes are a different story! You know how it feels ladies when you see those perfect shoes! I really like the shoes that I find that no one else has. These are the ones that my friends will have a fit over and run out to find the same pair. So if the shoes are amazing and you need a size 8 but the store only has a 7 1/2, what do you do? No, no, no!
You don't call other stores looking for them, you don't find a different pair! You cram your foot into that 7 1/2 and make your friends go nuts over your new shoes! They may not feel good, but they sure as heck look good!

Sunday morning I wore a pair of boots to church that I love! They look good with jeans and they make me 5'7 instead of 5'5! But by the end of the music portion of the service, my feet were numb and killing me. Oh yes, it was the 7 1/2 size I wore! The boots I just had to have when the store didn't have an eight! All of the sudden my feet felt claustrophobic in those skinny, pointy toe, boots. My toes were crammed, my arch was aching, my heel was begging to be set free. Finally, the worship ended and we sat down. It was then I realized that my boots were not worth all that pain.
Even though they look so good with my jeans, I don't think it's worth forcing my feet into them any longer. They are not a fit!

Before, I met my husband, I forced a relationship. It was one of those dreadful relationships that you have that you know you shouldn't. For three years it was break-up, get back together, break-up, get back together. We went to church together, we sang together, we had the same friends, I loved his family, his family loved me. But time and time again, the Holy Spirit showed me clearly that he was not the man for me to marry but I continued forcing the relationship. As soon as I let it go once and for all, I left the church that we were both attending, went to a new church and met Jeremy. The former relationship made me miserable in every area of my life because I was forcing something that was not God's will. It may have looked good, we may have seemed like the perfect couple, I may have adored his family, but deep down I knew. He wasn't a fit!

At the beginning of 2005, God showed me something I was forcing. But, even after He showed me, even after I was hurt, even after I suffered consequences, I continued. A few months later,
He showed me again that it was not a fit. Not only did He show me but He showed my husband that we were no longer living in a place where it was a fit. We fought it, we forced it, we avoided it and instead of obeying the Lord and what we knew He had told us, we remained. I loved my house, I loved my church, I loved everything about the place we were, but deep down I knew. It was no longer a fit!

I have spent many days, months and years forcing things that were not meant to be. Sometimes, there are times when relationships, jobs, your place of residence, your church home, they all are a fit for a certain amount of time. Then God is ready to take you somewhere new. At times, I have not understood only later to see what God was trying to show me. Still there are times that I don't understand and may not ever understand. But, one thing is for sure I know I can trust Him to take me to the best place for me. I have to constantly remind myself to not force it! It may look good, feel good, appear good, and have all the things I am looking for but still may not be a fit.

Months ago, I did not understand a lot of things. My husband "got it", he was confident of what God was doing but I had to process for a while. I felt at times that we had made a mistake in moving.
I doubted, I questioned and then finally, on December 4th, 2005, I let go. The Bible says in Isaiah 26:7 But for those who are righteous, the path is not steep and rough. You are a God of justice, and you smooth out the road ahead of them.
My Father has smoothed out this road I am on. He has answered my questions with answers to prayer. He has made me feel at ease once again because I have obeyed and chose His path instead of forcing my own. So Today, I know that I am where I am supposed to be. It's a fit! I also recognize right away when I am forcing something. I know when that shoe feels like a 7 1/2 instead of an 8! The 8 feels so much better!