Wednesday, January 04, 2006

The Real Me

This afternoon I am overwhelmed with the thought of how much my Jesus, my Lord, my Father, loves me. The Bible says in Zephaniah 3:17 that He rejoices over me with gladness, He quiets me with His love, He rejoices over me with singing. I can't help but shout His amazing love today. He speaks to me in ways that He knows I will hear. He shows me things in ways that I will understand. He loves me more than I can possibly understand.

For the last three months God has been showing me a calling that He has placed on my life. Someone told me almost a year ago that God would not unveil that ministry to me until I realized it was all about the people and not about me. Well, it seems that I have been on the fast track plan and God has revealed himself to me in so many ways. I am understanding Him like never before in my Christian walk. Why have I spent so much time worrying about others and what they think of me? When I walk down that path, that's when the focus is off of Jesus and on myself. If I care what you think, then my eyes are off the prize. Last week, I felt like God was trying to show me that He wanted me. He wanted me to the real me. He can use the real me.

Sunday, I went down to the alter to pray. I didn't care that my Mom and Dad were standing next to me and would see me walk down the aisle to pray. I hoped Jeremy wouldn't follow me. He didn't. I knew that this was about me and Jesus. He has been calling me for months. He wanted me to give up the charades, the song and dance, and truly live for Him in everything I do. He is unveiling a new woman. I look forward to see who this woman is. The real me.

When I was fifteen I surrendered to the ministry and at the time I knew even at fifteen that the calling was real but I did not know what it truly was I was called to do. Finally, fifteen years later, He is unveiling the call. I am excited and I am realizing how my entire life, the joy, the pain, it has all shaped me for such a time as this.
A friend called me yesterday and told me she wanted to share something with me that she knew was from the Lord. I hadn't shared with her anything about what ministry I knew God was calling me into, but she knew. I didn't have to say anything, God showed her and used her to bring about confirmation. You see, Jesus is so personable. He always speaks in ways we will understand.
What better way to confirm than through a friend. She just called me a little while ago and told me of a song that she wanted me to hear. She knows how much I love music so she gave me song. Well, I have downloaded it on to the mp3 player and it's a song I hope to sing someday. Music truly reaches the depth of my soul and this song is just what I needed.

As I knelt at the alter to pray on Sunday morning, this is what my heart was crying out. Father, thank you for seeing the real me.

The Real Me- Natalie Grant

6 comments:

Laura Archer said...

I must say I really think your friend knows what she's talking about!! You are awesome and I'm so glad that your "loosening your grasp" and realizing that God has something BIG in store for you. Don't worry what others think or feel...it's between you and God and He wants to use you for His glory!!
BTW...I love that song more than you know, and I can't wait to hear you sing it!! I'll be front and center! I love you, Amanda!!

jliddick said...

Wow.. God has been doing a mighty work in you this past year. I feel in my heart that you could be a testimony to so many people that are hurting and show them the love of Jesus so many people are desperate for. You truly have helped counsel me when I needed it. You love to bring a smile to people's face but you will never know just how big of a smile our hearts have because of you:) Keep smilin' Keep shinin'!

Karen Pierce said...

Don't ever let me hear you say that you don't finish things you start. I was there when you surrendered your life to the ministry. I actually thought you were 14. That is one thing that you have been consistent in all through the years. You have never waivered from that. Paul says to "press on" and you have done that. I also remember when God gave you a beautiful revelation on Prov 31 -- the virtuous woman. Those were both in your teen years. God was preparing you THEN for SUCH A TIME AS THIS. How satisfying it must be to know that what GOD CALLED YOU TO DO you have followed through on. You have "pressed on". It's the one thing you CAN'T finish! God isn't through with you yet. I love you. Mom

Patti said...

This is cause for a celebration! Praise God!

Sonya Terrell said...

Amanda, I already love the person you are and I'm sure I will love the person that God is shaping you to be.

Amanda said...

Thank you Mom. I love you. I am here only because of you.