This afternoon I am overwhelmed with the thought of how much my Jesus, my Lord, my Father, loves me. The Bible says in Zephaniah 3:17 that He rejoices over me with gladness, He quiets me with His love, He rejoices over me with singing. I can't help but shout His amazing love today. He speaks to me in ways that He knows I will hear. He shows me things in ways that I will understand. He loves me more than I can possibly understand.
For the last three months God has been showing me a calling that He has placed on my life. Someone told me almost a year ago that God would not unveil that ministry to me until I realized it was all about the people and not about me. Well, it seems that I have been on the fast track plan and God has revealed himself to me in so many ways. I am understanding Him like never before in my Christian walk. Why have I spent so much time worrying about others and what they think of me? When I walk down that path, that's when the focus is off of Jesus and on myself. If I care what you think, then my eyes are off the prize. Last week, I felt like God was trying to show me that He wanted me. He wanted me to the real me. He can use the real me.
Sunday, I went down to the alter to pray. I didn't care that my Mom and Dad were standing next to me and would see me walk down the aisle to pray. I hoped Jeremy wouldn't follow me. He didn't. I knew that this was about me and Jesus. He has been calling me for months. He wanted me to give up the charades, the song and dance, and truly live for Him in everything I do. He is unveiling a new woman. I look forward to see who this woman is. The real me.
When I was fifteen I surrendered to the ministry and at the time I knew even at fifteen that the calling was real but I did not know what it truly was I was called to do. Finally, fifteen years later, He is unveiling the call. I am excited and I am realizing how my entire life, the joy, the pain, it has all shaped me for such a time as this.
A friend called me yesterday and told me she wanted to share something with me that she knew was from the Lord. I hadn't shared with her anything about what ministry I knew God was calling me into, but she knew. I didn't have to say anything, God showed her and used her to bring about confirmation. You see, Jesus is so personable. He always speaks in ways we will understand.
What better way to confirm than through a friend. She just called me a little while ago and told me of a song that she wanted me to hear. She knows how much I love music so she gave me song. Well, I have downloaded it on to the mp3 player and it's a song I hope to sing someday. Music truly reaches the depth of my soul and this song is just what I needed.
As I knelt at the alter to pray on Sunday morning, this is what my heart was crying out. Father, thank you for seeing the real me.
The Real Me- Natalie Grant