Thursday, January 12, 2006

May I never forget

When I was twelve years old I went through a plate glass window causing several cuts all over my body. As a result of this accident, I received over a hundred stitches and my face, arms, legs and one of my feet have scars to prove it. The glass not only caused deep cuts all over my body but almost completely knocked out my two front, upper teeth. I remember that horrible day so well. I was scared and frightened by all of the blood coming from my face and knowing my two front teeth were pretty much gone caused great fear. As I rode in the ambulance to the hospital, I remember being so afraid that because of this horrible accident that my face would be ugly.
Thanks to Doctors and Dentists, you would never know by looking at me that such an event ever happened. Once in a while someone will ask, "What happened to cause those scars on your face?" In the Summer, the scars tend to be more noticeable due to sun exposure and I'll suddenly remember that awful day spent in the emergency room. But if it weren't for the scars, I don't think it would ever cross my mind.

It seems I will be praying for the rest of my life about certain things. You know those things that constantly beat you down? The things that you find yourself praying about over and over again. For me it is without a shadow of doubt, WORRY. I must say that my worrying is nothing like it used to be. It no longer rules my days. There was a time as a single adult working in the professional world that I would sit in my cubicle and worry all day long. As I performed my job each day, I was bombarded with worry. The worry had nothing to do with my job, but it had infiltrated my entire life. Today I am not that bad. Praise the Lord, I have changed. But every once in a while, WORRY pops up and tries to reign once again. When it does I wonder what it's going to take for me to finally be rid of that struggle! I know what the Bible says, I know what my Pastor says, I have even ministered to others regarding worry but it still creeps up sometimes.

Just as those scars on my face remind me of the day when I was twelve years old, the worry reminds me of how dependent I have to be on Jesus. If it weren't for the scars, I probably would never think of how I went through that plate glass window. If it weren't for worry, I don't think I would have learned to be on my knees in prayer submitting everything to my Father. It's worry that has caused so much pain and strife in my life but it's worry that has proven my need for dependence on Jesus. One of my favorite passages of scriptures says it best in 2 Corinthians 12:7-10
"7 Even though I have received wonderful revelations from God. But to keep me from getting puffed up, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger from Satan to torment me and keep me from getting proud. 8Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. 9Each time he said, "My gracious favor is all you need. My power works best in your weakness. So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may work through me. 10Since I know it is all for Christ's good, I am quite content with my weaknesses and with insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

For me I have found that I still have a little bit of the sting from pain left inside of me. Days come when I feel that I am right where I used to be, unchanged. I wonder when I will ever be totally free! Then I realize how thankful I am to not be totally free and that I never will be. For my dependence on Him would not be there if it wasn't for those ugly things in my life that chase me. Those things that remind me of how much I need Him. That's what He died for. That's what He saved us for. That's why I'm so thankful that there are so many things I still need saving from. May I never forget! May I never forget the pain that has brought me to my Lord. For when I am weak, then I am strong!

6 comments:

jliddick said...

Amen sister friend. That which doesn't kill us will only make us that much stronger. And you are so right about the more things make us weary and worry the more it humbles us to give them to the lord and be in his presence. For when things are going our way we tend to not need him and he always wants us to make time for him..

Laura Archer said...

I love this one...but, I love all your blogs!! I've heard that scripture (2 Corinthians 12)so many times, but it really spoke to me here after all you said! I'm right there worrying with you, sister...it's what keeps me on my knees as well! Just like you, there are times I wish I could change my past, but then I realize God allowed Satan to test me in those areas to make me a stronger believer and to have that closer relationship with our Lord. This scripture helps me: Philippians 4:6-7 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Pray for me and I'll pray for you, sister!! Love you!

kelly g said...

Scars serve to remind us of all the things we hjave overcome. Wear them proudly!

Karen Pierce said...

I'll never forget that day and for reasons only you and I know. The separation still grieves me. But, I do know this, SCARES ARE HEALED WOUNDS, and they do serve to remind us who God really is. Jehovah Rapha -- The Lord that heals. Your healing is so much deeper than your body. God is healing your body, soul and spirit. It's a process, so it goes on forever. He is constantly healing us because HE SAID HE WOULD. He is always faithful to complete everything He starts. I love you. Mom

Sonya Terrell said...

Thank you, Amanda. Thank you for making me see that the fear and worry I struggle with is just my "scar" to remind me to depend on Jesus!

Carrie said...

What an incredible analogy! I love that scripture, b/c no matter how much we think we have figured out...we all have something like Paul did, that thorn in our side that keeps us humble and constantly seeking Him. I loved this one....great writer!