Monday, January 30, 2006

I have been lost

My Husband will tell you that I am notorious for loosing things around the house. My Wedding ring has been lost many times in my own house. I only loose it for a few minutes but I can never seem to remember where I took it off. Sometimes I take it off in my bathroom, sometimes sitting at my desk, sometimes in the kitchen. Then, there is my chaptsick. I buy chapstick almost every time I buy groceries because I can't find it when I am at home. Sunglasses, car keys, I loose them! The sad part, the things I loose are usually sitting right in front of me. My husband says he can never find the phones in our house. They are cordless and I seem to leave them all over the house. So usually when someone calls, we don't make it to the phone in time because we can't find the phone! But a few days ago, I realized I truly had a problem with loosing things when I couldn't find my debit card. The last place I had used it was in my own home! I had called a Cruise line to pay the balance on a cruise we are taking for my 30th birthday. Later when I needed my debit card, I realized it was not in my wallet. I tore the house up looking for it but couldn't find it. The only thing that brought me comfort was the fact that I had used it last in my house. So I KNEW it had to be around my desk somewhere, the place I was sitting when I called and paid for the cruise. After looking in some of the most unusual places possible, I gave up. I didn't bring it up again to my husband because I knew he would give me a hard time. I knew it wasn't in the street somewhere so I just let it go and borrowed my husband's for my trip to the grocery store. However, I did pray that the Lord would help me find that debit card. Whenever I loose something, I always ask God to help me find it. He always does.

So yesterday, I am sitting in church and our Pastor asks us to open up our Bibles. My husband opens my Bible, elbows me in the side and whispers "LOOK!" It was my Bank of America Debit Card! Yes, I had stuck it in my Bible or did I? I don't know how or why it got there but I know it was a place I never thought to look.

Sometimes I get lost. It's like I forget where I have been and go back to a place that isn't the best for me. My way of thinking reverts back to the old way. My attitude changes and my joy is no where to be found. I can't seem to find that Godly Woman ANYWHERE. For some reason, it is in those moments that I don't read God's Word, I don't pray, I don't praise. Instead, I get lost in my circumstances. I get lost in my trial and I don't even try to find my way back. If only, I looked in God's Word when I experience such drought. If only, I looked for His peace when I needed it the most. Last week, I needed Jesus.
I needed His peace, I need His strength but I didn't look for Him.
My Bible remained close, my heart remained empty, my eyes remained shut and my mind remained in total anguish. The answer was there all along, but I never thought to look.

Father, please help me to push through those moments. Help me to not remain in the funk, help me to get out and get out quick! May I always find you quickly for I know you are there waiting. Thank you for allowing me to loose my debit card. I have heard you speak once again. I love you Jesus. I need you. I asked you to help me and of course, You did!


Gwen said...

Beautiful post!

Kathy A. said...

A beautiful answer to my prayers. Praise God for His faithfulness and His true love. "Some have entertained angels unaware"
You may not be aware but you entertain the angels daily. God is so real.

Karen Pierce said...

So how many days (exactly) did you not read your Bible? What have I ALWAYS told you? NEVER NEVER NEVER go into battle without your Sword -- it's like going to a gunfight armed with only a knife. You lose!

You are so like me it is scary. You are going to have to start singing like I do. "I turned it off" "I layed the keys down in the bathroom floor because I was afraid to stop to hang them because I was about to pee my pants" "I shut the garage door" I unplugged the flatiron" I turned off the iron" If you sing -- you remember -- no panic attacks.

luv u

Laura Archer said...

Well, me of all people needed that prayer! I was "in the funk" all weekend and all I needed was my Father to get out. Sometimes we get so lost in our own thinking that we forget or are to selfish to give it to God. I'm guilty as well!!
I've missed you, too, my dear friend, and I'm so glad you lost your debit card to because I needed this blog today! Thank you for always being so honest! I love you Mandi!

Amanda said...

Thanks gals!

Anonymous said...

That was very cool!!! That it turned up in your Bible that is.
I like this post ;o)) I can really relate.


Kili @ Live Each Moment said...

I relate to this. (Funny, I wrote my post prior to reading yours and it's similar) Like you said I believe we think alike. Anyway, I will pray for you fi you pray for me Amanda. I don't even know you, but we are alike and we both need prayers.

I actually DESIRE to have an AWESOME relationship with God. And I do, sometimes. But the failed part is that I should always be able to say "I've never been closer to God than I am today..." I want to strive for that and then I don't. Anyway, I set way too high of expectations for myself in every area of my life and get mad when I don't succeed, and then want to give up on all aspects.

Amanda, can we pray for each other? Even just for a week, every day and just see what happens? I will start by praying for you tonight, right nwo, that God would be with you, and strengthen you and that you might grow in your relationship with Him.

Thanks, Your sister in Christ,

Christy said...

Been praying for you my dear friend!

Minnie said...

This couldn't describe what I'm going through better. Thanks for the awesome words (once again!).

Karen said...

I think we all have days like this. They seem to go on forever. God's Word is our comfort in these times. Good post -- it really ministered to me. That song is awesome and very hard to sing because I feel it so deep inside of me. It truly is the cry of my heart. I love you. Mom