This Day I Do

Continued from The Beginning

As I drove to the Bible Study, I began to realize that I was distracted. Just a few days ago I was a young woman only interested in focusing on God. There was no way I was going to get caught up in falling for another guy. This was a time of healing for me, a time to be alone, just me and God. Now I am driving to a Bible study with a fast beating heart and butterflies in my stomach because this guy I met at church. I was frustrated with myself. How could I be distracted so easily, so soon! But a lot had happened on Sunday and the Lord had revealed a lot to me so how could I NOT be distracted. Could this guy be the husband I have prayed for?

Pulling into his apartments, I was surprised at how close I had lived to him. Come to find out we had lived within two miles from each other for a couple of years! We had shopped at the same grocery store, ate at the same restaurants, sat at the same red lights while waiting in traffic. When I got to the front door, I was shaking. From the time I left my house until I got home from the Bible Study, I was constantly conversing with the Lord. "Okay, God I know I heard you say that my husband was behind me on Sunday and this guy that has the Bible study at his house was sitting behind me! If I am confused or getting excited over something that is not real, you will have to take care of my mind NOW! I am already analyzing everything. I am already picturing myself with this guy and this does not seem normal! I feel like I am truly loosing my mind!" Excited, yet scared, I knocked on the door to his apartment. He answered. I think we said hi and then I instantly focused on showing myself friendly to others at the study. I was not about to act interested! The Bible Study began. Jeremy was the host and he was also apprenticing to be a leader. He did not teach that night and that's probably a good thing! I can't even begin to tell you what the study was on because I was totally taken by Jeremy. Of course I did not make it obvious but I looked at him a lot. The room was full of other girls and some were quite attractive. My mind was telling me, "He must have a girlfriend. He is not going to date you. Your hair is too short. I bet he likes long hair! Look at how great his apartment is decorated! This means one thing, a girl helped him decorate. A girlfriend!"

With my mind going absolutely crazy, I started to pray. "Lord, what are you doing? I have been walking so closely beside you. How could I possibly get so sidetracked so easily? If this is not the guy, then he will have a girlfriend and he will say something or do something to totally change my mind. If I am not supposed to be attracted to him then you better bring someone else along because I am totally, 100% gone! I don't even know him and I am falling for him. Lord, if this is HIM then he is going to fall for ME! He is going to come after ME! He is going to pursue ME! I will have no doubts that he is the one, IF he is the one!" The thing that made this so difficult was the fact that I did not know him, yet I was already crazy about him. This was not normal. All the single woman books I had read did not talk about this. I was supposed to be a Lady In Waiting! Or what about what Elisabeth Elliott teaches in Passion and Purity?! HA! Those books were out the door! Forget that! The Lady in Waiting book would have told me I was crazy. But something supernatural was happening and I couldn't control it. My thoughts kept taking me back to Sunday and all that had happened. My mind was telling me that I was crazy, while my heart was telling me that God was up to something. Jeremy was very quiet through out the Bible Study. I don't think he said too much. It was time for prayer requests and an older, single woman there decided to share a praise. (This woman is now Jeremy's sister's motherinlaw) She began to share a praise about her fence being replaced. "I just want to thank God for Jeremy. He came to my house and replaced my entire fence. He is such a servant and God used him to bless me. Thank you Jeremy." So now I am in love even more! He's a servant and he's a MANLY MAN! Wow!

The Bible Study ended and an announcement was made that there would be a single's Valentine's party on Saturday night. By Friday night I had lost the invitation but I still had the map to Jeremy's apartment for Bible Study along with his phone number. Jeremy still does not believe that I lost the invitation but I really did. Another thing God planned! I did not know anyone at the church, I had Jeremy's number so I called him on Friday night to get directions to the party. He was home! I began to think that maybe he did not have a girlfriend or maybe she was there when I called! He gave me directions to the party and then invited me to go country dancing with him, his sister and her fiance and a few others. Of course I calmly accepted the offer to go dancing. After hanging up the phone it was like I heard the Lord speaking to me again in a comical way. "Do you still think he has a girlfriend? Have you figured it out yet? He doesn't."

So let's skip ahead. Two weeks later Jeremy and I are laying on his couch. It was a very sweet, appropriate moment. We were just talking. By this time he had called me, taken me out and instantly after the Valentine's party/country dancing night, we were a couple. There was nothing to figure out, nothing to wonder about, I knew he liked me. I journaled every single night and quickly figured out that the husband I had been writing to was Jeremy. This was different, this was unlike any other dating experience I had ever had. This was it and I KNEW it! Earlier in the day I had shared with a friend that I loved Jeremy. "I know it sounds absurd. I know it sounds insane that I could love someone so quick. I know that I don't really know him but I know that he is the one I am supposed to love. So, I love him." As Jeremy and I laid on the couch talking he suddenly sat up and said there was something he felt he needed to say. "I need to tell you something but I am scared. I don't understand this because it's so fast." His voice got a little shaky, he grabbed both of my hands and said, "I love you Amanda. I know that I love you." We instantly embraced and held onto each other for a minute or so. I explained to him the conversation I had with my friend earlier in the day and told him that I loved him too.

Two months later, it was Easter weekend and I had been hired to sing at all the Easter services at a church in Keller. I had to sing at a Saturday night service but after it was over I met Jeremy at his parents house. It may not sound very romantic, but it was. He proposed that night in a very creative way. His mom got it all on video! The next morning I remember holding my microphone on stage for the first time with a ring on my finger. I must admit that I did hold that microphone with more joy than ever before!

We both agreed that we did not want a long engagement so we set the date for August 3rd, 2001. His mom and stepdad, my mom and stepdad and my dad were in full support so the Wedding planning began!

It wasn't always easy. Jeremy's younger sister did not approve, we did not get along at all. It was extremely difficult. It was so difficult that I came down with a severe case of adult acne and soon after had to be put on acutane. Still to this day when I get a pimple, I am terrified because I know how hard it was to go through adult acne while planning a wedding. Many things came along to test us. The enemy was not going down without a fight. God has supernaturally orchestrated this relationship and everything came against us at some point or another. Since I struggled so much with fear and since I had so much stuff to deal with from my past, I began to have panic attacks. I thought he would change his mind because of his sister or because of me. I just new that there was no way he could love me and I constantly fought against the fear of loosing him. Finally I had what I prayed for and I was so afraid it would be taken away. My fear never scared him, my problems never made him go away. No matter what I did, no matter how many times I called him in a panic, he loved me. God had given me a true picture here on earth of what HIS love looked like. He did it through Jeremy and still does to this day.

Today I am not as insecure, I trust him. Today his sister loves me too, I think. I love her. I really love her. I still deal with insecurity when it comes to her but it's not because of her. I sometimes let the past rule my thoughts. She is a Godly woman and she knows I am a Godly woman, we let that be the foundation. I wanted her to be the sister I never had, it did not turn out that way but I love her and my kids love her, they adore her. His sister was already engaged to be married in September. We came along and had a Wedding before them. We did not do it to cause pain or strife, it just happened that way. Jeremy and I prayed about everything and the Wedding date was a big thing we prayed about. When you meet, court and get married all in six months there are challenges but the Lord brought us through them. Some did not support us, some did not understand. Some said we were rushing it, some even said that we would not make it because we went too fast. That was so painful for me, so painful. I still don't even like to think about it. But today is our five year Wedding Anniversary and I just want to say, look at us now! In just a couple of hours I will go pick up our three and a half year old son from my Mom. Our one and a half year old daughter is looking at books right now as she listens to bible stories on cd and inside my belly is a baby that we can't wait to meet this coming January. In a few weeks we will know if it's a boy or a girl!

It's been a tough five years at times but it has also been an amazing five years. I am married to my best friend and there is no one else better for me than him. God gave me things in Jeremy that I did not even know I needed. He loves me more than anyone has ever loved me. He is an amazing father and he can do ANYTHING, I mean ANYTHING he wants with his hands. He can build anything, fix anything, create anything, he can do anything and everything. He's a man's man and he is my man. But more than that, he is God's man. Every night I watch him lay in bed and read his bible for thirty minutes, I listen to him give counsel on the phone to hurting friends and I see him raise his hands in worship. He loves God and he longs to serve Him. That's what I love most about him. When I am up on a stage singing a song, I know he is in the audience praying I hit every note. In fact, I know he is probably more nervous than I am. He brags on my cooking and not just to me, to everyone. He takes me fishing and tells me that he would rather go with me than one of the guys and I actually believe that! He laughs at my jokes, he always holds my hand and he smiles at me constantly. I pray constantly that I can make him as happy as he has made me. Oh how I love him. I wrote a song to him that I sang on our Wedding Day. The last line of the chorus said, "I never thought this dream would come true, but this day I do." That was truly how I felt. The Lord gave me something that I really thought would never happen. I did not think it was possible and on August 3rd, 2001, I realize that God had answered my prayers in such a supernatural, incredible way. There is no way I can ever doubt that we were meant to be. I never knew how wonderful my life with Jeremy would be but This Day I Do. God does the impossible, God does things that we would never do. God does things to show others how much he truly loves us. That's what our marriage is about! It's a testimony of God's amazing love and supernatural ways. He did it all! Thank you Lord for my husband!

Happy 5 year Anniversary Babe. You just called me to tell me you couldn't wait for our date tonight. That made me smile! You have made all my dreams come true. When I pray for Josiah I pray that he will grow up to be a man exactly like you. When I pray for Ava Beth I pray that she will find a man that will love her like you love her Mommy and like you love her. You take care of us and you love us with everything you have. I am so proud to stand next to you. Of course your looks had me from the beginning but now it's so much more. But I will say that I love having a man like you who also happens to be so goodlooking. You're hot babe! You are hot! It's only been five years and look how much God has blessed us! Can you imagine all the blessings to come? I love you my friend and husband. Thank you for bringing about so much healing to my life. You were the healing balm I needed. I am the luckiest, most blessed woman I know because I have you.