Wednesday, December 14, 2005
Hello in there!
Opening the mailbox, Charlie Brown looks inside and yells, "Hello in there.. Rats! Nobody sent me a Christmas card today. I almost wish there weren't a Holiday season. I know nobody likes me. Why do we have to have a Holiday season to emphasize it?" Oh Charlie Brown, I so know how you think. I am just like you!
Ever since I was a little girl I have loved Charlie Brown. Instead of Strawberry shortcake sheets for my bed, I had Charlie Brown sheets! He was a kid after my own heart. For some reason I was cursed with a "nobody likes me" mindset as a kid and I have had to fight my whole life to not feel that way. It's an awful feeling and draining to others. It seems no matter where I go, I always fight that feeling. It's a battle for me and probably will be my whole life. Each year as I get older, a little more of this mentality is chipped away and I start to feel better about who I am. A lot of people are shocked that I deal with this issue because I am usually the loudest person in the room.
I love to make people laugh and I don't usually meet a stranger.
But, deep down I am always afraid to love because I usually love with all of my heart and get hurt.
All of us have a battle that we fight. Maybe it's your mind that you fight. I know that's my battle. Maybe it's an insecurity, jealousy, anger, depression. Whatever it is, we all have something that we deal with. Today, I am learning to thank God for those things I struggle with the most. It is those things that bring us to our knees. For those ugly things in my life have kept me so dependent on HIM.
Shutterfly finally got my Christmas Cards delivered, so your mailbox will not be empty very much longer!