Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Restore My Life

Today my computer was having issues. I tried everything to get it fixed but nothing I did worked. I uninstalled, reinstalled, restarted, screamed and I even cried (it was a moment of frustration like I have not had in quite a while). The last thing I did was a SYSTEM RESTORE. I couldn't believe it! It actually worked! I just restored my computer to an earlier date, a date I knew my computer worked perfectly fine. After doing that, it was perfect all over again! It was that easy! So tonight I have been dreaming of restoring my life to an earlier time.

As 2006 awaits, I think of many things in my life even before 2005 that I would love to relive. How magical it would be to restore my life to earlier times for just a moment.

10. The day I got off the bus from morning Kindergarten. I was five years old and prayed to receive Christ that day. I would love to soak that all in again. Wow!
9. My Christmas at five years old when I got my Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader jacket! The excitement was explosive. I was truly the happiest little girl in the world.
8. My very first solo in church, "I wish I were a Butterfly." God was shaping a performer back then and I remember loving the stage at six years old. It has never left me! Singing is the most incredible gift and I feel so blessed that God chose me to have it. For I get to be ME when I sing!

7. The night my Papa took me with him to go get ice-cream for the family but we came back with nothing because he really just wanted to leave so he could smoke a cigarette. My Grannymaw was so mad. I wish he were still here to know my babies and my husband.
6. The day my Pawpaw took me to buy a new dress. It was white with blue polkadots. I wish he were still here to know my babies and know my husband.
5. The day I went to visit my Mammaw Ritter in the hospital few days before she died. She said, "You have your Mother's hands." I wish she were still here to know my babies and my husband. I think about her every single day.
4. The day I met Jeremy. He was sitting behind me in church and invited me to a bible study for singles. That day, I knew He was the one.
3. The moment I walked down the aisle at my Wedding to the song Agnus Dei. The Holy Spirit was so present and it was the most amazing Wedding I could ever hope for.
2. The day Josiah was born, January 7th 2003 in Grapevine, Texas. With His arrival came the arrival of a whole new woman. I am so thankful for everything He has brought me, especially for the change. He has taken care of so many issues in my life! You have to grow up when you have babies and I think I have.
1. The day Ava Beth was born, December 22nd 2004 in Grapevine, Texas. My mom was in the room along with Jeremy when she was born. It was an amazing moment to have my Mom in there as that little princess came into the world. I come from a long line of Godly women and that day I felt like my mom was there to give that gift to Ava Beth. This little girl has quite a heritage.

God continues to bless me and show me that I have everything I have always dreamt of. I feel like I am finally becoming what I was always meant to be, a fearless woman. For I am happy! As I go back to those memorable moments in my life, I am so thankful. Sometimes I long to go back but I know today I am exactly where I am supposed to be. He has truly restored my life.

Thank you Jesus for all you have done for me. Thank you for helping me break the bondage I have been in for so long called fear. I am finally beginning to feel safe in being happy. For the first time in my life, I am finally beginning to understand your love and realize how much you long to bless me. I know fear does not come from you! I really know it! Thank you Jesus! Thank you for restoring my life.

(Friends, family, you know this is a huge breakthrough for me! Fear has held me captive way too long!)


Christy said...

Amanda, I am so humbled every time I read your blog.. you continue to bless my heart. I have never met you yet feel so honored to just read a part of what God is doing in your life. God bless you.

Sonya Terrell said...

Wow! Amanda, sometimes it amazes me how much you and I are alike! Fear is my NUMBER ONE ENEMY! I prayed about it yesterday(I pray about it everday!) asking God to help me find out why I can't conquer the fear and then show me how to fix it. Most people who know me sees me as a really strong person, but I'm not. I'm really just this whimpering mush deep on the inside. I fear everything, but most of all I fear being happy. I try and squash it down and bury it. What am I afraid of? I really need the breakthrough you have received! The fear has crippled me the last few weeks. I really need your prayers.

Okay, I've revealed way too much so I'll quit now. But, I'm proud of you and proud of your breakthrough!