I have really struggled with this chapter. It's always amazing how the Lord works because Kellie posted her comments a little early on a different post. What she said pretty much summed it up for me. Read below.
"Philippians 1 just spoke to me about being hurt within the body of CHRIST. I grew up in a wonderful church family. Not long after I got married the church got a new pastor. To put it short, many were hurt by this new leadership and left. This has scattered my church family all over the area. Some are now at the church I attend and that is nice, but I can see that they have been hurt and they really don't want to associate with me because I represent the past hurt. That hurts too. Not the point. What I saw here was that no matter how we have been treated by other CHRIST followers we are all still CHRIST followers. We are all on the same team. We all have the same goal. To spread the good news.We may still feel hurt but GOD is bigger than the pain and the pain givers. As Rick Warren pointed out in the Purpose Driven Life, "It is not about our comfort." We are to die to self daily and then we will be working in harmony with the HOLY SPIRIT along with those who may have hurt us."
This is hard for me, extremely hard. I have been careful up to this point on what I write to protect anyone that may be lurking. I'm not going to play games or try to write hidden messages, that's just plain sinful. But, I will say that last year I was hurt more so than I have ever been hurt. Yes, I had a difficult childhood. But, working through childhood pain is much different. When you have been hurt by a full blown Christ follower, it takes a toll. There have been lies told and Jeremy and I have been portrayed in the most cruel ways. Satan loves to work in all of this too. A few weeks ago someone told me something they had "heard" said about me and my husband. It killed me. I went home that night and cried. The next morning I woke up so angry. For the record people, DON'T ever tell someone something that you "heard" about them. This does not help. You may not be trying to hurt someone but deep down it does hurt and it is gossip too. We fight this fight together!
Have you ever wondered if someone's motives are pure? Some of us serve and preach out of pure jealousy and rivalry the Bible says in this chapter. Some have pure motives. But the Bible says that the message of Christ is still be preached regardless. We can't control others, we can't! What have I done to cause pain? Have my motives been pure? Regardless, we fight this fight together!
Chapter 30 says that we are in this fight together. I read it over and over again to try to get it to soak in! I never imagined I would ever go through what I did last year. People don't understand that their words can never be taken back. Slander can destroy a man's life or his ministry. But still beyond the pain, we fight this fight together. Right?
So Kellie, thanks for your comments. Thank you for speaking into my life. We all will be in Heaven together someday and what he said or she said won't mean a damn thing. That's right, I said damn. I have to move on, I have to find healing. The yoke has got to be broken, once and for all.
This blog is a place where I have grown because I have been the most real in my life. You may think I sound like a cry baby or someone that needs to just get over it. Maybe so. But, you ladies know me and you know my heart. This is who I am. This hurt is real. But forgiveness is real too and I have to do it. So pray that the Lord will give me supernatural strength to do it.
We fight this fight together!