It's nice to feel liked and nice to be missed. Thank you for your sweet comments concerning my "break" from blogging. I did not really mean that I would be taking a sabbatical or a long break from writing like some of you thought. Instead I was just trying to make sure that blogging was the not the driving force in this Stay At Home Mom's life. So here I am today with something to share. My husband is home early and has given me some time to myself. Not a whole lot has happened since last Thursday but as you know, I always have something to write about!
Almost one year ago, we moved forty miles across the Metroplex. Since moving we have driven back to our old part of town only a couple of times in order to visit old friends. With those drives we have discovered that we were always meant to live where we live now. In fact, last week I asked my husband a question that has me pretty stumped. "Why did we ever live there?" His response. "We were stupid." As soon as we got married we began planning for the future like most newly married couples do. We decided to build a house! After moving into our newly built home, we got pregnant with our son. I stayed home with the baby so I did not have to worry about a commute. However, my husband was driving over an hour just to get thirty miles across town. This area we lived in has now been said to have the worst infrastructure in the Dallas Fort Worth Metroplex. Not only was he spending too much time commuting but our families were way too far. I don't know very many people that live close to grandparents but just the idea of knowing that we could was enough to send us back to where we came from. Today my husband drives about twenty to twenty-five minutes each way, a far cry from the former drive to work. Grandparents? Well, we have a date night every single Friday night. Need I say more? I love where we live. I love my house, I love my neighborhood, I love my next door neighbor Mary Jo (she lets us swim in her pool!), I love my city, I love being close to all of our family, I love being close to good restaurants, good shopping and so much more. Almost one year later, I am still so happy to be right here. But there is one area in our lives that we continue to struggle to find contentment.
Soon after moving, we knew that the hunt for a church was top of the list. But as most of you know, looking for a church is draining especially when you have kids to check in at the nursery. We knew what we didn't want but we weren't sure what we really needed. Tired of trying to figure it out, we chose to go to church with my Mom and Step-Dad. We knew that the Pastor was known for his teaching. We trusted my parents and decided to go with them and soak up all that we could. In the mean time we made some great friends but one difficult thing remained, the location. It doesn't take us that long to get there but the thirteen miles that we drive puts this church a few cities away from ours. As a teenager my family lived down the street from our church home. That was important for me because those that we in my youth group were also in my classes at school. It created accountability for me in many ways and some of those relationships that I made in my youth group have remained a very important part of my life. (Right, Kelly Ann?) Attending church with those that were in my community was a must at that time. Now I wonder if that is true for this time in my life now. Should our place of worship be close to our home?
We driven a great distance for work. We drive to other important events. But for a growing, young family like ours, is it important to go somewhere close by? Also I have to say that now with us expecting a third child, I need more women in my life. Right? Or is it enough to have a couple of close friends that encourage me along the way? Is it best to have a network of close friends outside of church? I don't know anyone at my church that lives anywhere close to where we live. When I tell someone the city we live in, they wonder how we ended up at their church. Even though it really isn't far, it's not close. I won't lie! A part of me is selfish and I want to be close to those that I go to church with when this baby comes. I want to have sweet ladies bring food over and call me from the grocery store to see of there is something I need. Or maybe I would be more inclined to get out and take the kids places if I had women close by to rally around me. Right now I feel like having three kids so close in age will have me at home by myself all the time. Those that I have talked to at the church about this have a hard time seeing my point of view. Most don't have kids my age and they live within minutes of the church. Then there is my Mom who loves seeing her grandkids every single week and I love having them at church with us. It's nice to send one of them or both of them home with her on Sundays. My parents drive thirty miles and they don't complain. But, they don't have little kids either. Then there is the fact that my little brother and his family are moving here from Seattle in August and they will be attending the church too. They also have a baby due in November so it would be nice to be at church with all of the family. But a huge, annoying fact remains, I am lonely. I want to be a part of the church, I want my kids to be involved. I don't want to drive thirty minutes just to take Josiah to VBS. Selfish? I don't know. That's the journey I am on right now. Some people we knew back at our old church has just recently moved here. We have really connected with them and our kids have become really close. They keep trying to get us to visit a particular church with them. Then my really good friend Kelly Ann also goes to this particular church and has for over a year. It's five minutes from our house and is covered in Moms my age with kids the same age as mine. My instant reaction is to go visit. But, I don't know if the easy route is the best. My mom would be sad, I would be sad not being at church with them and I think we would really struggle with not having the Pastor that we do right now. His teaching keeps us holding on. Is that enough?
What does my husband think? Well, he thinks that I need to be happy but he is not sure what to do. And I have not brought it up to him since the last time we talked about it over a week ago. This is big for me too! I have kept my mouth shut so he can hear from the Lord. I don't want to manipulate Him. I know that if I complain and whine enough, I will get him to do what I want. That's not what I want.
So there you go, something to write about! I would appreciate your prayers. We need them.